Getting good marks is not fun anymore
Hey, there you all. *BIG SIGH* I got 97 marks for my music theory test. Meaning dinstinction and you know what my father says? Oh, okay, that’s good, bye-bye… Like as if he has more important things to do. I worked so hard to get dinstinction and my mother can’t even be bothered to pick up the fucking phone.
Now, I don’t think that I can take the initiative to try and score well for my SA2s. I don’t give a fucking damn anymore. I got scolded for making a tiny mistake in my practice papers, I had to go down to the music centre once a week to listen to the stupid class when I could’ve been having a blast; I had to come back on weekdays to attend extra classes even though I was ready to drop dead, I was shaking when I went into the damnable exam hall and I got absolutely no support from my family… I don’t want to bust my ass for good grades anymore. WHY THE HELL?! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Why should I have to work hard when nobody appreciates what I do?
I might as well be a flower vase. Nothing to do, just all looks and no brains. Who the hell bothers that I got third in a compo competition? Who the hell cares that I got dinstinction for my theory exam? Who the hell would bother if I actually scraped the marks and got into Primary 6J next year? No one, that’s who. I have no more will to excel. Then, I look at a little wooden carving that my grandmother gave me from Sarawak. A family of cats all bundled up together…. That’s what I wish I had, a good friend that I can cconfide in. A wonderful faimly that won’t quarrel and insult… But maybe… that’s just too much to ask from God. Maybe just like my father, he has better things to do, like shape the clouds and while eternity away.
